There are Days

There are days
when our faith is enough
to let us know you’re there

We remember the stories
passed down through generations
of your love
your mercy
your grace
your faithfulness
and we are comforted

We remember the events
that have shaped our lives
for the better
that we attribute to you
and we are comforted

And on those days
it is not difficult for us
to give our lives to you
because we know who you are

But there are days
when our faith is not enough
and we question your presence

We remember the stories
passed down through generations
of pain
of suffering
of loneliness
of fear
and we are not comforted

We remember the events
that have shaped our lives
that we would rather not
attribute to you
but we have no other option
and we are not comforted

On these days
it is difficult for us
to give our lives to you
because we aren’t even sure you’re there
and if you are, we’re not sure it’s worth
giving our lives to

We do not ask that you
completely remove the days
that have no comfort
because they are sober reminders
of the hurt, pain, and loneliness
in the lives of the people around us
they are reminders of those
who never feel your comfort

But we ask for more good days than bad
we ask for more comfort than less
but with the understanding
that on our good days
the days of our comfort
it is our responsibility to comfort others
so that they too may know
that you are there

Chaos Abounds

The earth shakes
and we are moved

moved to compassion
for those who suffer
moved to helplessness
for what we cannot do
moved to question
why them?
is their poverty not enough?

moved to fear
because we are reminded
that chaos abounds
both in the world
and in our own lives

How can we confront the chaos of the world
if we cannot control the chaos of our own lives?

You are the one who keeps chaos at bay
you told the sea where to stop
you divided the waters
you created a world of order out of chaos
so why do we still feel overwhelmed?

Why are you not here
keeping the sea in its place
keeping the earth from shaking
keeping our lives from falling apart
keeping the chaos in its rightful place

We try, as best we can
to order our lives after you
but the chaos overwhelms us
so we ask, boldly but humbly
that you would, once again,
make order out of our chaos

A Simple Request

We begin this day
with a simple request
uttered first by the ancient psalmist
and recited by your people ever since:

Create in us a clean heart, O God
and renew a steadfast spirit within us

We know that you have your work cut out for you
We know what is in our hearts
We know how stubborn our spirits are

But we affirm you to be
the God who makes all things new
and we affirm that
our hearts are black, and our spirits broken

And so we ask
knowing that we will not likely enjoy the process
knowing full well what we will have to give up
once again

Create in us a clean heart, O God
and renew a steadfast spirit within us

Only If It Means We Are Yours

Humbled, God, we are humbled

We wish that we were humble
because we want to be
but most of the time
you have to humble us

And while we are grateful
for your humbling presence
We secretly wish there were another way
a way for us to be good and selfish
a way for us to be yours and our own

But you are not a God of compromise

You would see us broken
begging on our knees
if that’s what it takes for humility
not because you are sadistic
but because in any other state
we are not free to choose you

Free us from everything that hinders us
from choosing you and the life you offer
Even if that means that we are
humbled
broken
begging
but only if it means that we are yours

We Await Your Call

Sometimes the darkness overwhelms us

We confess this to you
light from light
light of the world
the who calls light out of darkness

And we are ashamed

We are supposed to be
children of the light
walking in the light
avoiding the darkness

And yet, something in the darkness draws us
We see there the shadows of our true selves
And we mistake the shadows for reality

And once we have stepped into the darkness
we find, at first, it to be liberating
to be out of the light
to be hidden from your knowing presence

The darkness
comforts us
consoles us
and nurtures our selfish desires

Whereas your light
searches us
tries us
and exposes our desires for what they truly are

Sometimes the darkness overwhelms us
But most of the time, we choose the darkness

We confess this to you
and we are ashamed

Call us into your light
Naked and ashamed though we may feel
And forgive our desire for darkness
Sometimes your light is too much

You are the God who calls us out of darkness
And we await your call

Restore Us Again

Restore us again,
O God of our salvation

The mantra rings in our ears
Does it sound hollow to you too?

You have no reason to believe
that this time will be any different
that we will finally turn to you for good
that we will change
that we will make time for you

And yet, here we are
bold to ask
but, as always, afraid of rejection
will you restore us again?

Cover our eyes with mud
that they may be washed
to see anew

Cover us with your light
that the darkness may be exposed
and we may see you more clearly

We know this will not be the last time
that the mantra rings in our ears

But let this be the first of many
not because of our absence
but rather in response to your abiding presence

Restore us again, O God of our salvation
And we will try to respond faithfully

We Would Scale the Tree

We would gladly scale a sycamore tree
just to get a glimpse of you
because there are so many things
that hinder our view

We join the crowd
looking for you
but we are distracted
by the spectacle

We watch for you
but it is so easy to miss your appearance
with all the other things to watch

If only there were a tree tall enough
that we could climb to see you

We would scale the tree
no matter the height
just to see what you’re up to

We would scale the tree
but secretly we fear
that there would be nothing to see

We would scale the tree
but thankfully there is no need
You have climbed down the tree
as it were, and come to us

We have seen you
We have hosted you
We will see you again
when you host us

Lord, Have Mercy

Too often we are thankful
that we are not like those “others”
like those sinners
like those unclean people
like those who do not deserve your mercy

We are thankful
that our petty trespasses
do not compare
with their great sins

We are proud of our offerings
both monetary and moral
and we expect you to be proud also
proud of us, ashamed of them

In our outward displays of righteousness
we demonstrate how we have earned your mercy
the small amount we need to cover
our moderate inadequacies

And then, we hear from their lips
“Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner”

And it dawns on us
that there is more righteousness
in that request
than all our offerings, our prostrations,
and our acts of mercy combined

We are sinners
Lord, have mercy

We Cry for Justice

We cry for justice
but sometimes we fear
our cries fall on deaf ears

We cry for healing
in a broken world
We cry for redistribution
in a land of plenty and povery
We cry for safety
in times of violence and hate

We cry for justice
in the names of those who
bear injustice everyday
and know not the words
peace, affluence, and safety

And where are you?
Do you know hear these cries?

With both fear and audacity, we ask
‘How long, oh Lord?’

How long will injustice reign?
How long will violence rule the day?
How long will the suffering of innocent people
go unavenged by you, the defender of the helpless?

We cry for justice
though perhaps not too loudly
For deep down we know
that it is we who have been unjust
we who have participated in violence
we who have allowed innocent people
to suffer all around us

We want justice for all those who need it
but not so much that we are willing to sacrifice
whatever it takes to bring about justice on our own

God help us

Help us cry for justice
cry for the oppressed
cry for the victimized
and help us to mean it

All the Wrong Places

We search for you
in all the wrong places
too easily distracted by
the smell of money
the comfort of power

We search for you
in all the wrong places
assuming that, like us,
you too are attracted to money and power

But of course, we know better
so we disguise our secret desires
we even dare to associate our
pursuit of money and power
with your “blessings”

We search for you
though not too hard
for fear that we will discover
that your blessings have little to do
with our desires

We search for you
though not too hard
because we are afraid to find
that our true objects of pursuit
are nowhere near you

We prefer to search in the wrong places
hoping that one day you will just show up
to redeem our search and justify our desires

But you are not a God to be found
so easily or cheaply

Help us find you
even if that means
removing the objects of our pursuit
so that we may only pursue you

Send us searching in all the right places
so that you may be revealed among us